24 March 2013

This Feeling Is A Gift


I don't know what to say about what I'm feeling currently. I just think about him recently. I just didn't want to fall in love again. I just wanna care about my relationship between me and Allah SWT only. But, someone told me that this kinda feeling is a gift from Allah. But I'm nobody and he's somebody. I'm nothing but he's super something. There's one thing I keep thinking about, if I keep this feeling I'm afraid that it will leave the pain again. I don't want my tears falling for someone that doesn't really matter in my life. I just want to keep this feeling for Allah only because I know if I love Allah. He will reply me. Allah always there for me. Allah always heal my heart again after I being hurt. I fall to the ground when nobody know. But He knows, Allah give me strength when I feel very down. When I feel like I can't live. When I feel like my life is complicated. And I just don't know where to start. He guide me when I lost. Allah always give me the happiness again after so many time I cry. 

And after I think about it, I just don't care. I don't want this feeling spreading into my whole heart. Because this heart is just for Allah. Let Allah decide what is the best for me. Who is my fate. Because I already believe that what is the most important to think about is when will I die. It's more important. Let me built my faith that already collapsed. I know I'm very lack of time now, every single day, we're actually getting closer to death. And now, I'm standing here in this world. I just know what is my aim axactly. And my aim is to be a successful person not just in duniawi but of course in akhirat also. InsyaAllah I will doing my best. I know it will be very hard. But Allah is with me. 

I wanna change inside and outside. I'm on my way. Before this, I always say that someday I'll change. Someday has arrived. But, actually we need to find it. To be truth, Im not the girl who cover their aurat properly like wearing jubah and wearing tudung labuh. I'm wearing my jeans and my shirt. I really adore those who cover their aurat very proper. Those who always say the Islamic things. Actually, they have realized me. Thanks to them thought they never realized it. They were one of my reason why I'm about to change. And, before I get into the university, I never performs my prayers five times a day. Alhamdulillah, now I getting to be better. Thanks also to my friend who always tell me to pray. Well, I know I'm bad. I know it doesn't enough yet. I will try harder.

// This heart is beats. Beats for only Allah.

:) :) :) :) :) :) :)