7 April 2013

Scratches Dusty Soul But Never Die

Assalamualaikum,

Alamak apa dah jadi dengan blog aku. Hehe, ada sedikit perubahan. Humm, yeahh. Aku 
dah bebas dari semester kedua yang menggoncangkan otak aku dengan penangan tornado 
subjek subjek yang sangat awesomely susah. Haha. Bukan nak cakap apa weh. Baru part
 two, tapi dah bagak aku nak study. Entah apa yang bakal jadi pada sem sem seterusnya. 
InsyaAllah everything will be okay. Hiokk. Ala, wehh. Aku rasa tak selesa nak cerita pasal 
perasaan kat blog ni. Firstly, takut member dok bukak lepas tu baca. Humm, tapi. Aku tak 
tahu nak luahkan kat sapa. Tapi biarlah. Dahlaa aku syok sendiri. Pastu bagitahu kat orang 
lain. Memang malu la. What a shame? Haha. Takpelah. Aku redha lah. Jangan terlalu 
berharap, jangan terlalu suka nanti terlalu sakit. Dan, aku nak lupakan lah segala kenangan 
aku dan dia. Ecehh. kenangan pun boleh. Ada ke kenangan? Takde sebenarnya. Berapa kali 
je aku pernah cakap dengan dia? Dua kali? Entah. Hum, so memang taklah aku ni dia 
pandang. Dia tu hampir perfect woi. Aku bukannnaa padang rendah kat diri sendiri. Cuma
 kalau aku duduk sebelah dia, memang nampak aku ni. Macam makcik jual karpet la. Dia 
macam artis femes, feyymess. Haha. Lagipun dia tu senior. Of course lahh ramai peminat.
 Smart kot dia. Haha, dahlaa aku ni sakai. Memang taklaaahhh. Haha, aku rasa kalau dia 
 bukak fanclub tu, mesti ramai yang register. Haha. Yang penting aku taknak join fanclub 
dia. Ingat aku psiko sangat ke. Even aku selalu stalk dia punya twitter yang kurang followers 
tu. Haha, sorry.

Dan aku ni bukan orang yang start dulu. Aku tak gentle. I know that human. Aku ni tak de 
apa apa la. Sedarr nok. Haha. Humm, okay. Sekarang ni ada masa dua bulan, bulan yang 
pertama mungkin agak susah sikit nak lupa. Takpe. Bulan kedua konfem lupa. Hekhek, 
InsyaAllah. Janganlah sem tiga nanti aku jumpa dia lagi. Dahlah, melupakan seseorang tu 
susah. Tahu dok. Hum. Lupa ambil masa dua bulan. Tapi, kalau terserempak sekali je,
 sekali je. Suka balik. Pahal doh? Dahla, dia tu anggap aku ni strangers. Malu ah. Suka kat 
orang yang tak suka kat kita. Penatlah. Faham tak. Dah malas nak fikir pasal benda benda 
geli ni. Cinta, suka. Kan dah cakap taknak terlibat dah. Haishh. Wehh, manusia ada 
perasaan kot. Hehe, normal lahh tu kadang kadang tersuka orang. Betul jugak *angguk 
angguk* Kalaulah dia baca blog aku, yang dia takkan mungkin baca ni. Senang sikit, aku nak 
cakap kat dia secara tidak berface to face. Tapi, memang takklaaa dia nak baca blog 
strangers ni. Haha. So, benda ni biarlaa dia tak tahu. Daripada dia anggap aku enemy dia,
 lebih baik strangers. Humm. Shedihhh.


//What is important and occasionally I will never forget, the fact is I have Allah and family , who make me smile again. Even, how sad I'm but being with them automatically, all the problems are gone :) That's why this heart and soul never die.

3 April 2013

Worse Than Withered

Assalamualaikum,

I don't want to cry. I don't want to foolish myself again. I don't want to liking someone 
more than it should be. I just want to stay like this. I want to keep my love for someone 
who deserves to. I want to love Allah more than anything. I want to forget you. I already 
like you exceptionally. But, I don't want to fall again. It's too hurt. I just love myself and I 
didn't want her to live in pain. After so many things, she had been through. Please, feel.
Leave her alone.


I don't know why I'm getting in this mood recently. Maybe, it's true I already liking
 someone again. For serious. No kidding. I'm sure you know the level of this pain. After so
 many times I already feel it, I just don't wanna involve for this thing again right now. 
Because it's just too hurt even if it's so beauty. Before it get spread out into my whole 
heart, can I just kill this and thrown it away. Nevertheless the other side of my heart, I 
want this feel to stay. Please just stay and don't go away. But, I can't cry anymore for 
something that is so stupid. For just another stupid reason, I will not fooling myself. I know 
now what is right and not. I know you're so good and so perfect that you can find another 
perfect company. I know. I don't blame anything. Over looking up reality, it's normal for 
one for looking the perfectionism. After all this long time I've been so stupid for hoping
 something that will never come true, better I'm move on and leave the low love. I 
already give up and don't want to interfere with that thing. Now, I just wanna be an 
independent girl with a big dream to success in life. Cewahh. Hehe, it's just so true that 
my love is so expensive. That only certain people can get it. And for the most important 
thing, this love is just for up there. Allah.

//Please make this thing turn out to be so easy.