27 February 2013

So Much Talk aaaa

Rabu, 27/2/2013


Assalamualaikum and hye there.

Baru baru ni ada Kempen derma darah kat Uitm aku ni. So, aku join la. Hehe. Seronok weh derma darah. Korang boleh jadi addicted. Ramai jugak yang queue up untuk derma darah. So, bagi aku dorang yang derma darah tu semuanya baik baik belaka. Huhu. Dorang sanggup menempuh jarum besar yang menusuk ke dalam tangan dorang. Haha. Banyak gila update pasal diri aku yang comel ni yang korang tak tahu. Hik hok. *bajet lebih. Sorry, kalau bangga sikit dengan diri sendiri. You know what? I think I wanna write one story about love. Memanglah sebelum ni aku ada usaha sikit nak buat novel, tapi, sebab terlalu busy maka aku tak sempat. Hish. Novel 'Bulan, Aku Mahu Dia' pun aku tak habis tulis lagi. Sebenarnya novel tu aku buat since aku sekolah lagi. Tapi, sejak masuk U ni. Aku terus lost. Taktahu lah nak sambung macam mana novel tu. Entahlah. Tiba tiba tadi masa mandi, terfikir nak buat nak buat novel lagi. But, before that. Aku kena buat jalan ceritanya dulu. Sebelum ni, aku banyak buat cerpen je. Tapi, tu pun aku kasi kawan kawan aku yang baca je. Takde pun serius nak buat novel. Aku cuma menulis untuk mengisi masa terluang je. Takde nya nak serius pun. Sebab, aku ni jenis manusia yang cepat bosan. Hah.

Tapi, buat masa ni. Aku kena concentrate on study dulu la. Khamis ni ada test calculus pulak. Aiyaa. Semalam ada buat revision sikit plus latihan. Tapi, tu tak cukup. Aku ni dahlah jenis manusia yang suka menangguh. Oh my. Tak tahan lah tahan diri untuk menulis novel tu. Sabar, Fateen. Jalan ceritanya kena buat dulu. Make sure cerita tu tak membosankan. Dulu, masa sekolah, aku selalu buat cerpen about cinta monyet, friendship and family. Tapi, novel kali ni nak buat pasal percintaan di alam perkahwinan. Aww. So sweet. Mesti ada yang tak sabar nak kahwin lettew. Cerita pasal kahwin ni. Aku rasa aku bukan type type yang nak kahwin awal. Nak kerja dulu. Make sure dah berpoket tebal baru berani nak kahwin. Hihi, cerita macam cannot wait dah nak kahwin tu. Alamak plan diet harini tak jadi pulak. Tadi melantak kat hotel Uitm. So sedap, superb makanan dorang. Tapi, terlalu kenyang ahh. Bila dah malam ni mula teringat makanan tadi. Sedapp~ Tapi, yang paling best. Spending time with friends laahh. Makanan tu kat mana mana boleh makan. Kalau boleh tadi nak makan sampai perut pecah. Haha. Tapi, waktu tu masih ingat tuhan lagi. Berpada pada sikit makan tu. Jujur aku cakap, kalau aku nampak makanan, I cannot say no. Especially, bila ianya free. Hehe. Okay.


Sudah sudahlahh tu mengupdate nya yang cik kak. Hoho, semoga kita berjumpa lagi di lain hari. InsyaAllah. Hee, senyum ehh :)



4 February 2013

Propaganda

Rasa ini sudah menjadi dendam,
Biarkan.
Biarkan dendam subur dalam diri ini.

I hate all those propaganda,
Don't be so happy, man.
Someday, you'll know the 'real' meaning of pain.
Yup. The exactly real one.
Or maybe someday there's someone,
who can ruin your life;
who can make your life worst than the hell.

You know what ?

I never wanna win.
But, I wanna see you lose.
I might have split-personality.
Bad and Kind.

And when I become the bad person,
I can be so cruel than you could ever imagine.
the thought of seeing you suffering,
is lingering nastily in my head.

Because you and your propaganda,
were the reasons why I became like this.

So?

May I kill you, man?
And you can see, watch and learn the side of evil in myself.
I will kill you in silence,
And nobody will know you've disappeared,
and no longer live in this beautiful world.

It sounds impossible.
But believe me,
My words really no joke.
I will make it true someday,
And it's not propaganda.

//Thanks a lot to everybody who make my life 'happier' than before. I never wanna be like this. But this too hard. I'm not that strong. Please, never appear in my sight. Never talk to me. Never come to me. Because, that's the only way I can be okay like before. I pretend that I'm okay whenever I'm not. But now, I already give up dear. Please consider that you never know me. You never be a part of me starting now. It's not that I'm not sincere by accepting the facts. Just, stop talking about sincerity. Only Allah knows what I'm feeling, about my sincerity and all those stuff. I can't say anything. Thanks for everything. Please stop feeling guilty. You never did anything wrong. It's only me who still dreaming though I already awake. Just thank you. At least, I know. I never can touch the sky. And I never can catch my dreams. Thanks.